The last couple weeks I have been trying to focus on making time for Miss Ruffi. I have really been trying to focus on making sure she is comfortable and relaxing in the saddle so that we can progress.
Unfortunately, as I well know, horses and their training are not linear. I still worry that she is in pain. I still worry she is going to buck and I will come off again. But then I see other experienced horse people I trust get on her without that fear and she’s great; and I start to wonder if I am the problem.
I am certainly not in a position to send her off to training and part of me doesn’t want to foist her off on my friends. But I do wonder if she would be better started who doesn’t have the history with her that I have. Who doesn’t have “the fear”.
And its hard because its not like she is my only horse. So when “the fear” rears its ugly head I think, “well maybe tomorrow” and go ride my trusty steed who I feel so comfortable on. Even when he decides he is terrified of my stablemate’s dog and wheels the other way. He is smart, depenable and safe. And I have come off him more times then I can count. So why can I ride him without a helmet without even thinking twice as I swing my leg over?
What is it about her that makes me so afraid? I know how to come off a horse. I know how to ride tough rides. So why do I have “the fear”? Do I just need more rides on her? Do I need to watch someone else do it? I don’t know.
And then she and I have days like today. I take her out of her paddock just to do some ground work. She is responsive. Kind. We are able to snuggle and bond. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not perfect by a long shot and is still very much learning, but I see so much progress from when she came home two months ago. Why can we not make that progress under saddle. She has SO MUCH potential.
I mean, when Bacardi came home two years ago, he had VERY little time under saddle since coming off the track in January of 2015. That means he sat for 3 years and 10 months with only a handful of rides on him and no formal training. Why were we able to get somewhere? Why is this time different?
As of right now I just don’t have the answers to all these questions. I think starting the next week, we may start her on some aloe juice and see it that assists with suspected ulcers, or at least provides some comfort. In the mean time I will continue to make time for her every week. Spend 10 minutes a couple times a week just riding around on her. Maybe see if I can get some other people out on her and get their opinions. Because if its just me and my fear, I just need to get over it.
Happy Riding!
A+R (and B)